There is an administrative order here and some few days ago Penny, our agency contact, had taken our passports to the local police station to begin the process of a residency permit. They had to be properly stamped by the local police near to where we live. She had duly returned them to us when that had been done and we thought we were home free. The local police stamp; then the medical stamp; then the foreign expert certificate and finally the residency permit.
Of course it couldn’t be that simple! We were then told that our medicals, which we had had done in Canada in order to get our entry visa, were inadequate. Yes, I know I had had every test imaginable before I left and my doctor was most conscientious and signed and stamped everything three times and we had paid for many of the required tests as well............ BUT they did not believe that the doctor’s signature was an original signature and I did not have my ECG paper - the one with the squiggles on it, although I did have the results and ‘NORMAL’ duly signed by my doctor!!! Mick did not have enough bloodwork ......... so we had to have the medicals done again and this time by the local medics. We were NOT happy campers but after arguing about it for some time we realised that the only way out of this was to go through it. Therefore Tuesday, our precious day off, we headed for the office and then a long bus ride to the International Health Centre to have our medicals in order to obtain our Foreign Expert certificate.
With much trepidation we entered the Centre where we joined the long line up of people also needing medicals. Fortunately the agency sent our contact Penny with us otherwise we might still be there. ‘There is a process! and every part of it must be gone through! Start at step one and continue until you come out the other end with everything complete.
Registration - Penny helped us complete the Chinese form.....Oops my photos are not acceptable I must have another set taken by the photographer who just happens to be there in the foyer (I might add that I took 12 authentic passport photos with me for such an eventuality but not ONE of them was considered suitable - too big; bad colour etc etc) After Penny paid the required 20 yuan for the photo (It’s not my problem i have 12 perfectly acceptable ones!!!!) we headed again to registration where the clerk (in a nice white coat) sent us on to .......
Auditing.........here the clerk, again in a white coat, took my photo with a special camera so there I was in true living colour on my registration form in the special box for photos so............why did I need the photos?..............no reply
Finance...... (paid by the agency thank goodness). All ready now for the fun.......
Blood and Urine (Oh no!) Stand in line with your now complete and stamped registration form. Wait an eternity. Prepare your arm ‘What right here in the line up?” Reach the counter where two nurses (I think) all gowned and masked are waiting. Present your chosen arm with sleeve rolled up onto the counter where a cushion awaited. In with the needle duly sterilised and taken from a new package and out with the blood. All bottles labelled with computer stickers from the registration form just like at home.
Now take this little plastic cup to the bathroom please! OK but how do I hold the cotton swab on my vein and my passport and registration form and the cup and....... just do it.
So off I go to find there is nowhere to put anything in the bathroom and, of course, they are the floor models. It took me ages to get myself organized to perform this feat I might add then in full view of the waiting lineups we had to march back to the counter to present our product. What a riot! Then back to negotiate hand washing and some tidying up and upstairs to ....
Ultrasound.........What? I’m not pregnant.......you heard. All of this by the way is not done in English so your guess is as good as mine. Wait in line....one at a time....behind the screen.....lie down keep your shoes on.... Two radiology technicians chatting away, no eye contact. One whipped out my shirt, stuck a gluey stuff all over my stomach and did the ultrasound chatting all the while to her buddy. Handed me a tissue and a dismissal sign. Must be finished. Pulled myself together .....oops almost forgot my registration form which is now getting a lot of ticks in boxes on it...........
Next line up Electrocardiogram. Instructions in English on the door. Yippee! Roll up your trousers and sleeves. We are getting good at this now and have a system worked out. Penny stands in the next lineup for us and when we finish one test we take her place, which is now near the front of the line and she moves on to the next line for us. Wow what a team.........but everyone else who has an accompanying partner is doing the same. it is moving right along. Once again behind the screen and lie down sleeves and trousers duly rolled up.....Clamp round the leg (feels like the electric chair...clamp round the arm.......Up with your shirt, push up the bra slap a few electrodes on you........zap whip it all off without even looking at you. Dismissal and another tick.....
Medicine and Surgery is next - What could this be.........An older ‘doctor’ sits you down puts on a blood pressure cuff which automatically takes your BP while she deals with the person ahead of you behind the screen. One out, one in. Lie down. No further down, (irritation shows) Like this. Legs bent up further,bottom pushed down the bed - Oh sorry i get it just don’t speak Choinese and have never done this before Sweet Canadian smile - no response........ God what IS going to happen here? Just another whip up and prod around my stomach, bang my knees, stomach prod again .......and off we go another tick and gosh this time a smile “Is something wrong?”.....
ENT.... Doctor sitting in white coat. I’m getting smart i watch the others ahead of me and know I must take of my shoes so I’m ahead of the game. Off with my shoes, stand on the height and weight measure, Doctor doesn’t move from his chair. Thank You...... Oh he speaks English! Look at this picture what number do you see - I think it’s the test for colour blindness. Then look in the mirror and cover one eye (Good gesticulating) I knew what to do as I had watched the lady ahead of me. The eye chart consists of an M on its side, to the right, upside down, right way up, and to the left..... all arranged like the regular eye chart. I had to gesticulate which way the M was pointing when the doctor pointed at it with a long stick. I had to look in the mirror, he worked on the screen in front of him. Did not have my glasses so couldn’t go to the bottom. Shrug shrug, gesticulated glasses. Now the other eye. Thank you .....tick tick...........
How many more?.....Run says Penny it is near lunchtime. Downstairs to X-ray. Ho Ho? In line then into the Xray room. Man holds my gold chain up and makes me stretch my neck until without taking it off he can rest it on the ledge, pushes my arms forward, only jackets and sweaters off thank goodness as it is in full view of the line up!!! Click your done. Tick your done. Wait for Mick
We’re finished. Phew 2.5 hours of line ups and testing. What they could tell from it all I do not know........ but it was very efficient.
Now poor Penny will return in the late afternoon to collect the results. Then, if they are normal, she will take them to the Office of the Foreign Experts for our Certificate.
We must, however, come back on Thursday with our Foreign Experts Certificates, to go to the Hangzhou Police Station to submit our residency papers. More free time given to administration! Thursday afternoon we took our now stamped passports and our new Foreign Experts Certificates plus loads of documentation kindly completed by Penny ahead of time, to the Hangzhou Police Station which is more than 30 mins by bus near where we were on Tuesday!.
More line ups.Take a number and complete the forms. Sit in line. Our turn. Up to the desk and the large policeman who has done this so often he has it all worked out. He works with amazing speed and dexterity sticking things on paper and taking our photos again and stamping things, then taking our passports and our foreign experts certificates placing them behind him. Next.....
Hope we don’t need either of these important documents which we are supposed to carry with us all the time or get stopped by the police, because now we have no documentation to show them... An hour or so later we are out of there and back to the office and on our way home.
A few days later, Penny collected the documents and we are now permitted to be here until Jan 30th 2009 .........We were half hoping they would refuse us
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